A Pain Worse Then Death
by Little-mizz-reader
Summary: Bella. Edward. Love. Pain and an unexpected expected disaster, One Shot maybe, if you like review? :


The wind howled as the glass pane shook once again as the rain pelted down against it. Everything was shrouded in darkness as night descended from the sky. The house was silent; the quite tremors of the passage clock ran through the house, apart from the occasional whimper that choked through my clenched mouth. Hours had passed since the tears began to cascade down my cheek, dripping onto the floor; I once again wiped my eyes with the back off my hand, moving the tears, but not the shadow that clung over me like a black veil.  
_"It's over"  
_The words echoed once again through my mind, still in their permanent spot, where they had stayed with me seconds after being born. The thought of moving couldn't even be processed as I sat staring into darkness while images of "us" swam before me. Every memory stuck to my heart like a poisoned dagger. Our pictures of happier times lay ripped up in front of me. His piercing emerald green eyes bore into my skull bringing forth the next round of tears. I used to think I was alone, but this was the true meaning of it, together forever he promised me, two months was all I got, if only this was some bad product I bought, with a guarantee, not, not this.

Her hair was long, blond and wavy, bright and bubbly like her, the total opposite of me. Must of showed how wrong we where together. I've never lived in fear of anything in my whole 15 years until now, until I was dumped by...him. I wasn't scared of seeing him, or her for that matter, but them, both together, I've never been independent, or strong, but seeing...Them, it would destroy me.  
Another set of tears raced each other down my face as I turned to lie on my bed from my sitting position. I clutched his torn off picture as close to my heart as I could curling up. Then it came, rolling out, and this time I didn't suppress it, I let it fall.  
"Why?!" I choked. I still didn't know why he didn't...love...me anymore, the week before we where great together. I knew him and he knew me, but I'd never of guessed he would do that to me.

A yellow gleam cracked through the sky into my window, dawn.

My heart ached yet again as I realised school was soon, they, where soon. I need to scream I felt. I wanted to kick, punch pull and scratch but just, stay here at the same time, just lay, pretend none of this has happened, just, wake up from this nightmare disaster, realise it's not real and be comforted by his arms, his voice, his kiss.

Running my hand through my hair I pushed myself up, steadying myself as my feet wobbled from side to side. Managing to get to my mirror I rested against it looking deep into its reflection. Dark hair, pale skin, dark eyes, my tear tracks where as visible as an addicts veins. Red rims outlined my brown bags that hung beneath each eye.  
"I don't love you"

After he whispered those words to me my whole world had fell, collapsed. He used to refer to our love as a flower, when he said that to me he poured acid over it, over us. Taking a dagger and digging it through me, but, as long as it brought me him, I'd let him, because I don't want anything but him. He's no longer yours I reminded myself. I never thought you could feel this bad over night; this was sadness, borderline pain. To be honest, I couldn't describe this hell, all I can really say is I've never felt like this before.

_***Flashback***_

_Nooooo, please no, don't do this, I love you, was it me? Did I do something?? Please noo, you're everything to me, without you I'll die! My legs gave way as I pleaded for the only thing in my life I prayed for_

_.His eyes where teary, but nowhere as much as mine, the hot liquid just poured out not even letting me stop for breath._

"_I'm so...I...I don't love you" "It's over" and with that he left me._

_His voice echoed around me, spinning, shock had taken over. Looking down I was sat in my room, my hands still warm and sweaty from his due to us holding hands on the way back from school. I looked back at where he stood and whispered._

"_But...I love you"_

I pulled my comb through the mop on my head that resembled straw more than hair as I tried to stop the sobbing. An hour or two later I was sat waiting in form, first in for a change, just wishing for the day to hurry up and end, thanking someone somewhere for the first time that he, Kyle, wasn't in my form.

The bell that sounded the start of the day brought with it my friend Alice who wandered aimlessly through the door plumping down with a thud on the only seat next to me, dumping all her stuff in front of us, I smirked, only she would need this much stuff for school I thought.

"Bella?" her voice chimed softly  
I looked at her as the class started with the world's most fake smile I could do, she knew me too well as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Thanks Alice"

Answering my unasked question she informed me we had Science first.

My nerves shook as I knew he'd be there, my eyes felt watery but I pulled all my strength to keep them at bay, in the sockets of my eyes. Linking arms we strutted off to science, both of us sharing the weight of Alice's school bag, me with her French folder and her with the rest due to my resistance of my life revolving around her.

Taking our seats by the back, my heart skipped a beat as I saw the back of their heads at the front, noticing this Alice was quick to occupy my trail of thought as she shoved her bag into my arms and began talking about how bimbo's should be incarcerated together for being so stupid.

I watched her as her mouth opened then shut at thirty miles per hour; she was my true friend, my soul mate in the term of friendship. I knew what she was trying to do, occupy my thoughts, turn my mind away from the evil that lay taking over me, If only I wasn't as dark as I was, or I wanted to be new and whole, but to do that, I'd have to give up him, give up on..."us", that was one thing I could never do.

Staring aimlessly as the teacher as he drew on the white board I caught a glimpse of them, he was stroking her head, staring into her eyes. He held me hypnotised when he did that to me, he could get me too kill the whole world but as long as I had his hand, I'd come out covered in blood, because all I needed was him.

The bell sounded, ending the torment that lay within from double science.

FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

Screamed some of the joker types running through the doors that led to the field of which the labs where placed right next too.

Inhaling the outdoor scent I got more then I wanted, as the familiar scent wafted past. As if pressing on a freshly cut scar. My head turned involuntary to the right and I was met with an image far worse than death. Them.

The warm liquid screamed to be set free as I ran to our usual spot on the field with a callous Charlie screaming at me to slow down.

"Why!?" I half screamed and asked her when she approached me.

"It hurts Alice, it hurts soo much" Her eyes began to resemble mine when I had held my tears captive,

"It has too, it'll get bad before it gets better, but it will, it will get better Bella, I promise you that" Ending her sentence with a hug. My arms layed at my side, I couldn't find the will to move them, I didn't want to.

Removing myself from her embrace I wiped my eyes once again. "Alice?"

"Yes Bella" she answered with her mothering smile

"You're all I have in this world, you're my trust"

Her smile calmed me as she sung back her reply melodically "I know, now come on, we've got history next then lunch, maybe we could both forget about school and stay out a bit longer after dinner"

Taking my arm she linked us and we walked off to the history block.

"I hope you're hungry!" Alice smiled.

My saviour I thought, suppose so I replied.

Numerous scents attacked our noses as we stepped into the local chippy; it was nice I thought, simple, decorated with white tiles and the walls covered in paint, probably intending to be surgical white the years of neglect had turned them cream. I felt for these walls, as I understood them, standing, being the boarder to something much bigger, being the strength but also the weakness of the building,

"HERE" Alice grabbed my arm while overloading me with a tray of chips and ushered me out the now busy Chippy, looking behind I saw the reason and smirked at Alice as she was nervously looking over her shoulder until we were out of site of her mystery, guy.

"John" the only word she needed to say as she stuck her finger down her throat.

John was a childhood friend of Alice's, well that's what he says, the truth is she's never remembered him, he moved back recently and is now her new...stalker per say.

"Is he gone?" she questioned still frowning  
Nodding my eyes glued themselves to the ground as we made our cautious journey back to school.  
As Alice chattered to her radioactive mother on the phone I was left, kept by the only place I never wanted to be. My mind.  
Alone forever.


End file.
